Trust yourself

The biggest mistake I ever made was ignoring the many red flags and the many gut instincts that were presented to me, and blindly choosing someone who ended up bringing the fiercest storms I’d ever experienced into my life.

My ignorance to the red flags and my own instincts also meant that I had a lack of boundaries, and that meant that they were able to do what they did unchecked and unaccounted for, breaking my trust and my spirit over and over again, and as a consequence it negatively impacted every single aspect of my life.

I had countless people try to warn me but I wouldn’t listen because I never thought that someone could ever end up being the person that they turned out to be.

A person without honesty, without accountability, without integrity, without empathy, and without any remorse whatsoever for what they did or what their presence took away; they disguised themselves very well indeed...

I experienced things in my life that had never happened to me before, and that will probably never happen ever again, but that’s a story for another time…

But perhaps the worst part of all, was because of the fact that they were so clever, deceptive, and cunning about the way they went about things, and the way they lied and manipulated the truth to others, it took someone else later on to point out the truth and the reality of the full extent of their manipulation and abuse.

Because when you're in a situation like this, you become desensitised to their toxic behaviours and it begins to feel normal, but at the same time you know it isn't normal, and that something isn't right.

It changes how you think, how you act and react, the decisions you make, how you interact with others, and how you feel about yourself.

In the end it changes you... 

And it changed me and my life in a very big way, all because I wanted to ignore the red flags.

All because I wanted to believe who they told me they were, when everyone else was warning me about who they were.

A situation I would never allow today knowing what I know now.

We don’t always want to acknowledge the red flags and our gut instincts when they present themselves to us because we don’t want to believe them, nor do we want to admit to ourselves that we were wrong.

Sometimes we ignore the red flags and our instincts because we feel we've invested so much time into someone, and we don't want it to end up being a waste of time.

But if you ignore the red flags that you see early on, they will be the very reason that everything ends later on.

The behaviours behind the red flags don't disappear, they become worse over time as the person demonstrating these behaviours realises that they can get away with it.

Don't let them get away with it, and instead know what you're not prepared to tolerate.

Pay attention to what they do, not what they say.

Trust your instincts, and if something doesn't feel right, know that you're feeling it for a reason, and don't ever dismiss it, no matter how much they try to convince you or gaslight you into believing that what you're feeling is wrong!

Trust yourself, because the red flags you see, and those gut feelings that you feel, are presenting themselves to you for a reason...